Many people know very well how to hide behind a pretty/young looking face. Many people have told me that I look about ten years younger than I actually am. Those that don’t feel beautiful have always said that beauty is a curse, but I believe that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. “Beautiful people” tend to be judged by those who feel insecure about the way they look. I have had people give me one look, and tell me, “you’re too young to know what pain is…” am I really?
I’ve had many moments in my life that made this world look like a very dark place. Many of those dark moments came from broken relationships in which I didn’t guard my heart. I would have nights where every time I closed my eyes, I see would see demons, shadows, and painful flashbacks of memories that were once pleasant. I’d hear voices repeat words over and over again like a broken record player, promises from people I love that were never kept, and bad experiences I wished I could delete from my memory forever with one push of a button.
But I looked okay…it was easy for me to put on a facade and pretend that everything was okay because I “looked” okay. There was a point in my life that I was so broken and felt so worthless that I went into my kitchen, grabbed a knife, and held it to my throat. I thought to myself, “I’m done with this place, I’m done with disappointment. God, take me home.”
Then God said, “If you really want to die, then die for a cause; don’t die for nothing.” After hearing Him say that, I put the knife down and cried for hours. Since that day, not only have I decided to live my life with a purpose, but I also started learning what it truly means to guard my heart. Many people can hide pain behind the mask of beauty. Pain doesn’t have a face, and that’s why it can hide anywhere.
“A picture is worth a thousand words” is a statement I believe to be true, but I believe the same can be said about a face. Why does a man stay out late at night doing God knows what, while his wife lies in a room crying tears of loneliness? Why do women prostitute their bodies to every man that gives them attention? Pain causes people to live beautiful lies.
The real reason people do these things is because they have a deep desire to be loved. Real love comes from God, and when we know what real love looks like, we can demonstrate it in our relationships with those we care about. Hiding the pain we feel inside is a sure way to live a lie, but being vulnerable enough to share our feelings and our struggles with the people God put in our lives will bring healing and hope.
“People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (excerpt from 1 Samuel 16:7) .
Once we learn to look beyond someone’s outer appearance and into their heart, that’s when I believe will be the beginning of life in abundance.
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